Warning! I have a light potty-mouth. One of the most common “dumb-ass theories” I debunk is “I have to do it all myself.” Can anyone relate? Maybe in your head it sounds a little different, like: “If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.” or “Nobody else cares or will do it, so I have to.” This is surely a lack of creativity on your part. I only know this because I hit rock bottom in the “add it to my pile” addiction a few years back. After lots of work to reclaim my relationship with time, accept how it works (there is a finite amount in each day) and choose some things to say a powerful “no” to, I moved on to more advanced techniques. My favorite: Outsourcing! Among the funnest tasks to outsource was shopping. I have an amazing stylist, George Brescia, who not only tells me what to wear, and packs my bags for trips, but also brings clothes to me at the gym to try on before my workout and returns what I don’t want. You know what this means, I get to spend more time with my kids, something that is truly more important to me than shopping. I also get to look great, which boosts my confidence and helps me in my business. I also outsource to my kids. They unpack groceries, clean up after dinner, put away clothes, and now a variety of new chores I think up on the spot for small sums of money and other gadget-related rewards. The babysitter doesn’t just sit. She shops, cleans, keeps track of receipts, helps with homework, and best of all, green-JUICES! We have a manual for our babysitters, so if we have a sub or a new one, they know just what to do and how we like it. We also have a notebook for communication and time set aside each day to check the notebook to find out what the babysitter needs and to write in new stuff that we might need. We barely ever need to have face to face meetings, though they are lovely. And there is an expectation that we will ask for things clearly and regularly, and she will do them. I think of all the years I pussy-footed around people who worked for me, afraid to ask them to do things, with the theory that they’d resent it. That wasn’t me acting like a mature adult or treating the people who worked for me like mature adults. Wow, there are so many bad theories that go along with being overwhelmed, right? You might be thinking, outsourcing only works for people with expendable income. Not so! (By the way, this is another dumb-ass theory.) Don’t forget the concept of trading services for things you already do. Imagine two people who decide to swap babysitting for food shopping. It’s no extra work really to have another kid with you (might even save you work/effort), but in return the other person does the shopping for you! Substitute almost anything here. See how we are just getting creative, and not believing any set theories we might have been raised with or fed by external or internal voices. You can also outsource coming up with new ideas. This is very popular with the advent of social networking. In the last year, I have outsourced coming up with ideas for everything from teleseminar topics, to what I should do for Valentine’s Day. One of my clients planned my entire Valentine’s day for me this year, and it was so creative. My hubby and I had a ball. I’m also amazed by how quickly my kids can come up with ideas for what to do on the weekends, and my staff can come up with the agenda for the meeting. Yup, unlike what my theory says, if I am willing to relinquish some control, I expand! Of course, the most popular reasons NOT to outsource are: – we like control. – we like to be seen as busy and important. – we like the struggle; it gets us off the hook from bigger, more scary dreams. Please consider that these natural “defenses,” while normal, will rob you of your most heartfelt dreams. Please debunk them. More control does not equal more power, more creativity or more success. Being seen as busy and important may be a momentary help or high, but in the long run leads to burn out and not reaching your potential. Presenting as a victim can temporarily get you off the hook with others, but it doesn’t get you off the hook with yourself. You know what’s really important and whether or not you are getting to it. Need help making the real impact you want to make? Need help fixing your most important relationships? Need help finding and keeping deep love? Need help loving and caring for your body, while kicking butt in your career and nourishing your family/love life? It’s what we do! Love, Laurie P.S.- For easy help, register now for our one-hour teleseminar, Debunking Your Dumb-ass Theories, October 17. For a longer, more involved solution, come to our most popular live, weekend event: the Design Your Life Weekend.
